“You will meet a tall dark stranger” by Woody Allen, 2010

Allen’s tea with a little milk

This lightweight comedy gives away Woody Allen’s recipe. This may have never been a secret but, still, it seems growing older is making the New York director more self-indulgent, and hence more predictable, when it comes to putting his writing on screen.

In Woody Allen’s world, Jazz will bring you from one scene to the next, and a pedantic voice-over will explain the details that were missed while filming.

Allen’s characters have to be writers or sell books, painters or work/own an art gallery and, if not musicians, at least they enjoy opera or have a PhD in musicology. If not an intellectual, a bohemian or a cultured and well-read wannabe, you would need to be considerably rich or incredibly young and beautiful, or your chances of appearing in a Woody Allen film would be slim.

In a classic setting that transcends time, where each character’s clothing has its own color palette, all elements harmoniously blend making even the most humble locations visually pleasant. Persistently looking for beauty and avoiding stridency, even the prostitute looks vulgar in an extremely sophisticated way.

Finally, in a Woody Allen movie you’ll enjoy a set of well-directed, excellent actors giving life to an entertaining plot where people constantly fall in love with each other until, at some point, someone is killed. What would Allen be without that titillating amorality served by infidelities and crime?

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